Friday 31 July 2015
joke!!!!
joke!!!!
Standing at the gates of heaven At the
end of the age when all
the believers were standing in
line waiting to get into heaven,
the angel Gabriel appeared and
said, “I want all the men to
form two lines. One line will be for the
men who were the true
heads of their households. The
other will be for the men who
were dominated by their
wives.” Gabriel continued, “And now
we need all of the women to
report to Mary and Martha on the
other side of the gate.” The women left
while the men
hurriedly formed two lines. The
line of men who were dominated
by their wives was seemingly
unending. The line of men who
were the true head of their household
had just one man
standing in it. Gabriel said to the first line,
“You men ought to be ashamed
of yourselves. You were
appointed to be the heads of
your households and you have
not fulfilled your purpose. Of all of you,
there is only one man
who obeyed.” Then Gabriel turned to the
lone
man and asked, “How did you
come to be in this line?” The man
sheepishly replied,
“My wife told me to stand
here.”
joke!!!!! how to know if u are beign follwed by village witched. lwkmd
How to Know When The Witches
In Your Village Are Following
You!
* If you are downloading a file of
5GB data and it Fails
at 99%...
* If you buy a bold5 for 90k
today and the next day
the price drops to 20k...
Thursday 30 July 2015
GEJites & Buharists compares both leaders visits to Cameroon president
Lol. People that don’t have work. Photos show ex president Jonathan meeting Paul Biya of Cameroon and President Buhari at a state visit to Cameroon yesterday July 29th. Is there any difference?
OMG! See How Phone’s Camera Flash Blinded This Little Ba-by
To all those who l0ve snapping little babies with all kinds of phones with heavy camera flash, please take note before you land yourself in trouble
Wednesday 29 July 2015
Tuesday 28 July 2015
Chinese artists create a realistic fallen Angel that got the World talking
Last week in Beijing, artists Sun Yuan and Pen Yu unveiled their latest work they call “Angel”
The work is frighteningly realistic, and photos of the work are being shared across all social networks. The piece has been installed in China’s capital, reports the Daily Mail.
See the reason why Saying “I love you too” means nothing, here’s why
Relationship writer, Tim Mousseau of The Good Men Projectexplains why one of the most uttered phrases in history, never defines a person’s true feelings towards their partners.
Here’s what he wrote:
Lol. PASUMA SAYS HE's IN LOVE OH.
DAddy how was i born
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need
joke!!! Hungry and broke
However upon coming close to a posh London restaurant in this classy neighbourhood, they decided to come up with a plan.
The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal, the waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro-American shouted! The waiter was very confused because he could not remember being paid. But
Monday 27 July 2015
Joke - who loves who
for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for
money and guns and finds a young couple in
bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on
top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and
goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at
his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in
joke- Where were you born
Interviewer: Where were you born?
Akpos: Lagos
Interviewer: Which part?
Akpos: What do you mean which part? The
whole
body was born in Lagos.lol
Joke of te day
Why Nigerian Girls are so Greedy...
I have been sending chat msgs to this
gal as in
“hi”, “hey”, “xup” …since 2009 but
she has
neva replied me! Today i sent,
“232252536421162” to her and after 3mins
she replied “xup handsome, pls which
network
airtime is dis?” And i replied, “its a
NOKIA
torch light serial number” …. and she blocked
me immediately. Pls have I said
anything bad?
I have been sending chat msgs to this
gal as in
“hi”, “hey”, “xup” …since 2009 but
she has
neva replied me! Today i sent,
“232252536421162” to her and after 3mins
she replied “xup handsome, pls which
network
airtime is dis?” And i replied, “its a
NOKIA
torch light serial number” …. and she blocked
me immediately. Pls have I said
anything bad?
See English MAde in Nigeria
MADE IN NIGERIA ENGLISH.
*ABEG DRESS BACK.
*If I hear pim, u go hear
weeen.
*Have they BROUGHT light?
*The FILM is SWEET
*Pls help me SLOW that fan
*Mummy HAVE come
*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU
*Have you paid your school
fees money?
*ABEG DRESS BACK.
*If I hear pim, u go hear
weeen.
*Have they BROUGHT light?
*The FILM is SWEET
*Pls help me SLOW that fan
*Mummy HAVE come
*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU
*Have you paid your school
fees money?
Who is wiser
A Blind Man bought a television.
A Deaf Man bought a radio.
A Dumb Man bought a walkie-talkie. People,
Who's the wisest among this Men?.
A Deaf Man bought a radio.
A Dumb Man bought a walkie-talkie. People,
Who's the wisest among this Men?.
naija jokes!!!!
cashless economy
one day some thieves broke into our
house.the following conversation
ensued:
Thief 1: open dis door or else I will
break it down.
Father: plsssssssssssssssss..., I will open d door.
Thief 1: where is d money u kept in dis
house?
Father: cashhhhhlesssss economy... Pls
don't kill us.
Thief 1: Hahahaahahahahah.... Fool!, ur credit card or ur life.... Or else I will kill
u
father: Yepah! Mogbe!! Wat will u do
wit credit card... We don't have ATM
machine in our house keee...
Thief 1: shut up!... Akpos, (turning 2 thief 2), give me d POS machine and let
him dis old fool insert is card into it...
one day some thieves broke into our
house.the following conversation
ensued:
Thief 1: open dis door or else I will
break it down.
Father: plsssssssssssssssss..., I will open d door.
Thief 1: where is d money u kept in dis
house?
Father: cashhhhhlesssss economy... Pls
don't kill us.
Thief 1: Hahahaahahahahah.... Fool!, ur credit card or ur life.... Or else I will kill
u
father: Yepah! Mogbe!! Wat will u do
wit credit card... We don't have ATM
machine in our house keee...
Thief 1: shut up!... Akpos, (turning 2 thief 2), give me d POS machine and let
him dis old fool insert is card into it...
Naija jokes!!!!!
NIGERIA....My beloved country, where people.....
(Add urs)
~ Check d expiry date of gala after eating it.
~ Go to church with extension and BB
charger (charging in his presence).
... ~ Update on BBM "about 2 cross", get hit by a
car and still update "dying tinz"
~ Say an opening prayer at nite clubs
~ Go to an eatery and buy bottled water just
to watch a soccer match.
(Add urs)
~ Check d expiry date of gala after eating it.
~ Go to church with extension and BB
charger (charging in his presence).
... ~ Update on BBM "about 2 cross", get hit by a
car and still update "dying tinz"
~ Say an opening prayer at nite clubs
~ Go to an eatery and buy bottled water just
to watch a soccer match.
Naija joke!!!!!!!!!!!
(1) Where a man Happily meet a lady and when she
goes back to her friends, their only question was "Is
the guy loaded?
(2) Where leaders pretend to be patriotic when they
are in office, out of office, they will turn to ethnic
tigers.
(3) Where a blind beggar will reject a fake naira note.
(4) Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles & Waters
goes back to her friends, their only question was "Is
the guy loaded?
(2) Where leaders pretend to be patriotic when they
are in office, out of office, they will turn to ethnic
tigers.
(3) Where a blind beggar will reject a fake naira note.
(4) Where Groundnuts are sold in Bottles & Waters
Baby disappears during naming ceremony in Ogun state
Baba Go Slow title given to Buhari best suits Nigeria - Yoruba Obas
Graphic photos: 2 robbers killed in Ogun
Sunday 26 July 2015
Buhari slams military for hiring foreign mecenaries to fight Boko Haram
President-elect Buhari has berated the
military for enlisting foreign mercenaries
to fight Boko Haram.
According to Vanguard, he spoke in
Kaduna while hosting the National
Executive Council of the
ArewaConsultative Forum, ACF.
The military has never been so
incapacitated like now. It is a shame that
the Military cannot secure 14 out of the
774 local governments in the country.
“What is more worrisome is the fact that
Nigeria’s military has to rely on South
African mercenaries before it could gain
recent success in the war against Boko
Haram. This situation is shameful and
unacceptable.
“My administration will concentrate on
three major areas on assumption of office,
that is insecurity, the economy/
unemployment and corruption. We will
ensure we nip insecurity in the bud.”
Why I allowed Abacha arrest me – Obasanjo
Former President Obasanjo has disclosed
reasons why he allowed former head of
state, Sani Abacha to arrest him in March
1995 for allegedly conspiring abroad
against the Abacha regime, despite many
opportunities to escape and accept an
offer of political asylum by the US.
Leadership reports
Obasanjo was among the opposition
lights that were against the regime of the
late Head of State, General Sani Abacha,
who ordered their arrest, trials and
sentences but spared their lives due to
international pressure. Abacha was the
most senior military officer in the illegal
contraption called Interim National
Government led by Chief Ernest
Shonekan after the military president,
General Ibrahim Babangida, was forced to
resign over the historic annulment of the
June 12 June, 1993 election won by
Moshood Abiola, who later died in the
military gulag.
In his newest controversial memoir, ‘My
Watch’, he narrated his opposition to the
Abacha regime which led him to the
formation of National Unity Organisation
which he intended to use to force Abacha
to quit power.
According to his narrative, Obasanjo had
been meeting with some leading
politicians and non-politicians in every
part of the country on the need to free
the country from the jackboot of Abacha
whom he said, “was so much below
average as an officer that no serious
attention was paid to him until he was
made to announce the coup.
“I was not in doubt that Abacha would
attempt to silence me. This was clear
from his apparent ambition for life
presidency of Nigeria in insatiable
appetite for corruption; his looting
directly from the Central Bank; his need
to silence everyone that could oppose
him in any form; his actions towards my
close friends and associates and his close
surveillance of me by his security both
within and outside Nigeria.”
why some relationship fails
WHY SOME RELATIONSHIP FAILS
There are many reason why relationship
fail; some people will tell you their
relationship failed due to infidelity,
addiction , lack of attention, abusive
behaviour or severe money problem,
from perspective failed relationship have
one thing in common. Relationship fail
due to a different in the desire and ability
to create true intimacy .
Don't you always wonder why relationship
are fun in the beginning and then it feels
like something isn't there anymore .
Someone stopped doing what they did to
get you and now you're theirs, they feel
like they don't have to try as hard to keep
you ,before they used to pay attention ,
text you all the time , reply back quickly ,
be on phone for hours, have so much to
say , always doing this and when you
didn't even ask them to, be all over you
and now they keep their hands to
themselves, they ran out of things to talk
about , conservation go dead, not making
you feel like you're wanted by them that
when you guys start drifting.
SOME MEN focus more on how to get a
woman, they can do whatever it takes to
get her but once they have her and after
getting what they wanted,they loose
focus on how to keep her . They start
showing their true colours , the love
fades away , they start disrespecting
them , abusing them, beating them which
lead to break up or divorce. I am not
saying all men do this shits but some men
does it .
That's how it happens
Be wise
You only lose by holding back in love .
True or false
Do you agree with me.
Drop your comment
joke !!!!!!!!!
LECTURERS FROM A UNIVERSITY IN
NIGERIA,
FACULTY OF ENGINEERING BOARDED A
PLANE.
WHEN THE PLANE WAS READY TO TAKE-
OFF,
THE PILOT SAID......"WELCOME ON
BOARD
LADIES & GENTLEMEN MAY I PLEASE
INFORM
YOU THAT THIS PLANE WAS
MANUFACTURED
BY
YOUR STUDENTS IN THE UNIVERSITY AND
THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME OF FLYING".
IMMEDIATELY THEY HEARD THAT,
EVERYONE
RAN OUT OF THE PLANE EXCEPT ONE
PROFESSOR IBRAHIM, WHO SAT
COMFORTABLY.
PEOPLE WERE SURPRISED AND WENT TO
HIS
SEAT TO ASK HIM WHY HE DID NOT RUN
OUT
OF
THE PLANE LIKE OTHERS?
HE SMILED AND REPLIED..."THERE IS NO
NEED
TO RUN OUT BECAUSE IF IT IS TRUE THAT
THIS
PLANE WAS MADE BY OUR STUDENTS,
THEN
WITH WHAT WE TAUGHT THEM, AM VERY
SURE
THE PLANE WIL NOT EVEN MOVE".
Friday 24 July 2015
Photos of Obama’s grandmother arriving at the Jomo Kenyatta International airport
Photos: Glamour Lounge grand opening with Banky W
This is one spot you can’t forget in a hurry. One of splendor that speaks volume of luxury. It is grandeur, and just like its name in it’s glory and fame, here comes Glamour Lounge.
Watch the glamour hype by BANKY W on the short clip below and a map showing direction to the venue.
Thursday 23 July 2015
MoneyGram partners Access Bank to launch Big Splash promo
Photos: Children seen hanging on the back of a moving van
Photos: Children seen hanging on the back of a moving van
See the cake a LP reader ordered - see what she received
Armed Forces Radio begins live transmission
Lol. Donald Trump actually believed he had a chance with the late Princess Diana
Caitlyn Jenner shows off her shoe collection says ‘Don’t get jealous, Khloe’
